We’ve all heard the saying “you need to learn to love yourself first before you can love others”.
I especially like “love yourself first, and everything else falls into place”.
Self-love plays a huge role in all our relationships and I mean all. Romantic, platonic, familial, career, and those with people you haven’t even met yet. Because the way we treat ourselves will always be reflected in the quality of our relationships we have with ourselves and others.
So, here’s what you need to know about self-love.
1. People Treat You The Way They See You Treat Yourself.
When you treat yourself with love and respect, you are showing the world how you want to be treated. It makes it a lot easier for you to recognise when people are treating you less than you deserve because they make you feel ‘off’ when you’re with them.
Perhaps you don’t feel good or feel a little down after being with them. Maybe they are not as enthusiastic as you and you feel they’re holding you back.
It can be hurtful and yes a little hard, but when you realise you deserve more, as your self-love increases, it will be easier to let these negative relationships go, and forge new ones with people who do treat you with the same love and respect as you do yourself.
2. Only YOU Can Make YOU Feel Loved.
Depending on other people to make you feel loved will result in unhealthy and unhappy relationships, not only with them but also with yourself. You can’t reflect love in your relationship with others if you don’t have a loving relationship with yourself first.
Fill yourself up with love, practice every day doing something for yourself. Maybe, grab a cup of your favourite tea, coffee, or wine, and sit down for a few minutes on your own. No distractions, turn off the phone, tablets, tv, etc., just you. Think about the wonderful things that are happening in your life right now. For example, what are your big dreams and how can you make them happen?
The more you love yourself, the more you can give, and the more love you will attract back.
3. Relationships Should Not Be Co-dependent.
This relates to the point above of not depending on other people to make you feel loved. When you build dependency on a partner, it’s extremely unhealthy for both parties. You may start to think ‘what if they leave?’, ‘how will I live without them?’, ‘who else will love me?’, it’s a vicious circle. If the relationship does break-up, you feel devastated and perhaps think you will never find anyone else.
Break-ups are difficult, I know I have been through them, but being filled with self-love will make it much easier to bounce back.
I’m always staggered when I hear someone say ‘my partner is my life’. Wow, what a massive responsibility to put on someone else’s shoulders!
A relationship should be viewed as a partnership of two independent people coming together to mutually support, uplift, and empower one another.
4. No-one Can Make YOU Happy, As YOU Can.
Well, let’s face it, you know yourself better than anyone. What makes you happy?
When I ask my clients that, initially, there’s usually a blank expression because it’s something that they haven’t thought about for a long time.
So, let your imagination run wild and think about what really really makes you happy and do it. Do it regularly. If you’re out of practice go and try something new.
You can’t hand the power of making you happy over to someone else, because if you do, you also give them the power to make you unhappy.
The relationship that you have with yourself will last your lifetime, so make it fabulous!
Next week, I’m going to share some self-love strategies that you can easily practice and put into effect.
If you’d like more information, grab a cuppa and hop on a no-obligation call to find out how I can help and, more importantly, if I’m the right person for you.