MARIE FRASER
THE BOUNDARY QUEEN
as seen in
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. We can’t base our own worthiness on others’ approval. Only when we believe deep down, that we are enough can we say ENOUGH!”
– Brene Brown
We women, skillfully and unselfishly play many different roles every single day without a second thought. Without question, we attend to the wants and needs of the people we love and care for, often to our own detriment. We say “Yes” to everyone, except ourselves, and
WHEN WE SAY “YES” TO EVERYONE ELSE WE ARE SAYING “NO” TO OURSELVES
Courageously we hold down jobs or run our own businesses whilst juggling dozens of spinning plates. The sad thing is, we don’t acknowledge the super-heroine we have become because what we do becomes so automatic and who we are.
The result…..we lose sight of the person we really are, and by not giving ourselves any time or attention, we run on auto-pilot because our boundaries are way out of whack.
Then, out of the blue, we get a sideways swipe, and a major life event happens. Perhaps something dramatic like an affair, a divorce, not getting that promotion, or the longed-for managerial role, other relationship issues, a partner starting to work from home, a disability, a redundancy, retirement, or empty-nesting to name a few.
Trying to make sense of it, we wonder what happened to that feisty 24-year-old. Where did she go? How did she end up here without noticing the loss of the past few decades?
Everything feels alien and then you realise how much time was wasted being somebody else.
Wondering who the bloody hell you are, feeling scared, stuck, anxious, and lost, perhaps even resentful, angry, and unappreciated.
Questioning what your purpose is, and which direction you should take.
I know, I was that woman!
Hi I’m Marie
For many years I worked in high-powered demanding corporate positions and endured a long-term toxic relationship culminating in an extremely acrimonious divorce.
I’ve experienced my fair share of trauma having twice been mugged and thrown about, my personal space was invaded when my front door was sledge-hammered down at 03:00 am whilst I slept.
On their first birthday, my youngest child was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. That and years of emotional abuse caused me a great deal of stress, anxiety, grief, and overwhelm, which shattered my confidence and self-esteem.
When you are at rock bottom, the only way is up.
Now, as a boundary management and communication specialist, I combine my training in clinical hypnotherapy, life coaching, neuro-linguistic programming, and iMA Communication, as well as my own personal experiences to help and support professional women to silence their inner critic, stop playing small and to confidently shine their light for the brilliant and amazing women they are, so they can go forward with the trust and belief in themselves to achieve their personal and professional dreams, and it will be my privilege to do the same for you.
My children are my greatest achievement and bring me the deepest joy, I love spending time with them when diaries permit. I’m a hobby photographer and travel is my weakness.
I’m lucky to have visited all seven continents, including an expedition trip to Antarctica, flying up to and landing on the sea ice in the Arctic to see the Northern Lights, and a memorable 7,000km drive around Norway in a pretty big motorhome.
I shuffle between North Norfolk and central London with Alf, my miniature wire-haired dachshund.
My personal values are COURAGE, FUN, FREEDOM, JUSTICE, and AUTHENTICITY. They are the core of who I am and what I bring to my practice.
Do You….
- Ever say YES when you really want to say NO?
- Inconvenience yourself for other people?
- Spin many plates but avoid asking for help?
- Worry people won’t like you if you don’t go along with them?
- Often feel you have no time for yourself?
- Have an issue with someone’s behaviour, but let it go? Or even make excuses for them?
- Excessively invest in the decisions, feelings, and outcomes of the people you love?
- Feel used, unappreciated, unsupported, and overwhelmed in some or all areas of your life?
- Feel the need to be needed?
Do You tell yourself….
- I can’t be bothered to say anything when something is bothering you. (Because perhaps the other person never listens)
- I don’t want to cause a drama. (like sending food back in a restaurant)
- I don’t want to create conflict because I’m scared I might lose my partner, my job, or my client?
- People might dislike me if I’m not how they want me to be.
- Other people’s wants are more important than mine.
- I don’t have the right to demand more.
- People who set boundaries are unhelpful and selfish.
Many clients come with either no set boundaries, their boundaries are weak and open to abuse, or they’re afraid to set their boundaries. In all cases, they wonder why their relationships are not how they would like them to be, why they have such little confidence and self-esteem, or why they’re feeling overwhelmed, resentful, or angry.
Boundaries come in five general categories; Emotional, Material, Mental, Physical, and Sexual, and when any of them are transgressed, we’re in trouble.
Your personal boundaries are unique to you. You have a right to set them and you have the right to expect people to respect them. You may be scared to implement your boundaries for fear of being perceived as unhelpful or selfish, or you may feel guilty that loved ones will think you don’t love them. You may be scared to set boundaries in your work life for fear of losing your job, not advancing in your career, or losing clients.
Your boundaries are a vital ingredient to your happiness and success in life. They let people know who you are, how you want to be treated, and what behaviour is, or is not acceptable to you. But, if your boundaries are weak, inconsistent or people are unaware of them, they can hardly be blamed for treating you in a way that causes you to feel used, unappreciated, resentful, obligated, unsupported, or angry.
Think about who you have a relationship with; parents, siblings, other family members, partner, lover, children, friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, employer/employees, or clients. That’s a lot of relationships all of which will demand a different set of, or modified boundaries, to ensure that you maintain your autonomy, authenticity, and self-respect.
Healthy boundaries help us to avoid:
* Overwhelm
* People pleasing
* Toxic people and toxic relationships
* Feeling emotionally exhausted
* Burnout
* Narcissists and narcissistic behaviour and abuse
* Being misunderstood and taken advantage of
Some of the Ways to Work with Marie
Say “Yes” to You™
This four-week programme is specifically geared to identify areas of your life where:
* your personal boundaries are weak or non-existent
* false beliefs are holding you back
* your inner critic is keeping you stuck
The programme includes:
✔️ Completion of an in-depth questionnaire
✔️ Four x 1 hour one-to-one Session via zoom
✔️ Workbook in PDF format
✔️ Any appropriate tailored to you tools and resources
✔️ One x 15-20 minute bespoke made-for-you audio visualisation.
✔️ Email and/or WhatsApp Access to Marie for additional support if needed or to ask questions that may arise between sessions.
Following completion of the Say “Yes” To You™ Programme, you will
* have identified, set, and communicated your personal boundaries to the appropriate people
* feel much more confident in saying “yes” to you
* have strategies to pursue a more positive mindset
* have the tools and any necessary bespoke aid to silence your inner critic
* feel much more in control of your life
* have increased self-respect and respect from others
* have greater clarity and insight into the steps required to achieve your personal and/or professional dreams
Confident Communication for Personal Impact™
This four-week programme is all about helping you to learn the skills, knowledge, and awareness to make impactful improvements to how you communicate and interact with others. Whether that’s in your professional or personal life.
You will learn how to identify another person’s communication style.
In general, only 25% of the population have a similar communication style to you, which means that you are not truly connecting with 75% of the population in your world. This 75% has trouble understanding you and, of course, you them.
Just think of all the missed opportunities, stress, and anxiety because of this lack of understanding and connection.
How much easier would your life would be if you could connect with and understand everyone you encounter from family, friends, colleagues, your boss, or client? Bliss, right?
By implementing the proven strategies, you will experience the following benefits:
* Improved self-awareness and understanding of others
* Enhanced communication between individuals and teams
* Reduced stress and tension
* Harmonious professional and personal relationships
* Refined rapport building
* Greater connection and increased cooperation
* Increased self-confidence
This programme includes:
✔️ Completion of an in-depth questionnaire
✔️ Four x 1 hour one-to-one Session via zoom
✔️ Workbook in PDF format
✔️ Any appropriate tailored-to-you tools and resources
✔️ Email and/or WhatsApp Access to Marie for additional support if needed or to ask questions that may arise between sessions.
HYPNOTHERAPY
As a clinical hypnotherapist, I specialise in helping my clients relieve the stress and anxiety they’re experiencing, which is stopping them from living and being their best selves.
Stress and anxiety manifest in many ways, for very many different reasons.
No two people are the same. They may have experienced similar life events, but each and every one of them will deal with such an event in their own unique way.
I work in an integrative and client-centered way. There is no one approach that fits everyone. I use different techniques and modalities tailored to you and your uniqueness.
Stress and anxiety are incredibly debilitating if not addressed. They have detrimental effects on both your mental and physical well-being. I have worked with clients who have been referred by chiropractors because their physical symptoms have been caused by stress and anxiety, not skeletal problems.
I also work with clients who have experienced:
Abandonment, lack of confidence, perfectionism, critical self-talk, negative emotions such as self-doubt, lack of self-belief, and self-trust and rejection.
If you would like more information, then send me an e-mail with your question, via the contact page.
Power Session
Clients use this ninety-minute Power Session for very many reasons. Here are a few:
* A problem that is troubling them, and has for some time, but despite their best efforts, they just seem unable to resolve satisfactorily
* Relationship issues either with friends, family, or work colleagues
* A lack of confidence or self-worth
* Stuck in a life situation, whether professional or personal, and can’t seem to identify a way forward
* To gain greater clarity and a strategy toward their dreams and desires. When you’re so emotionally invested in a situation, it can be difficult to see the wood for the trees. A Power Session can help you gain that clarity.
* Speak freely to someone you can trust and feel safe with.
* Talk to someone honestly without fear of judgment or reprisal.
This ninety-minute Power Session includes:
✔️ Completion of an in-depth questionnaire
✔️ One 90-minute one-to-one Session via zoom
✔️ Any appropriate tailored-to-you resource
Following the Power Session you will take away:
* A sense of relief that you have been heard and understood without judgement
* Increased self-awareness around the issue(s) causing you concern
* A plan and any appropriate tools to help you deal with the issue(s)
* An eagerness to move forward now you have a greater understanding of how to prevent a reoccurrence of the issue(s)
* A sense of calm, clarity, and confidence.
HOW I CAN HELP?
Sometimes we just need to try and make sense of the thoughts and feelings that are coursing through us.
Perhaps you can’t put your finger on it, but something is causing you to feel agitated when you want to feel peace.
Perhaps you are in a circle of overthinking which is exhausting you and not providing any answers.
Maybe you just need:
Someone to talk to.
Someone who will listen, really listen to what you have to say.
Someone who can understand you.
Someone you can trust and feel safe with.
Someone you can talk to without fear of judgment or reprisal.
If this is you...
then do book a no-obligation complimentary call to find out more.
why no client testimonials?
You may find testimonials from clients on many coaching and therapy websites, but there are reasons why I personally do not publish these.
I abide by the ethical code of the National Council of Integrative Psychotherapists which considers the use of client testimonials unethical.
I take the confidentiality of my clients very seriously, and in order to comply with advertising requirements, testimonials need to be able to be verified, and the process of verification would breach the confidentiality of my clients.
As a coach and therapist, it’s my aim to ensure that our work together is tailored specifically for you.
There is no cookie-cutter approach, and therefore your experience of coaching or indeed therapy will not be the same as the next person.
If you would like to find out how your life can be transformed by coaching and/or therapy or to simply find out more about coaching, hypnotherapy, and the way I work, please do not hesitate to contact me here.
If you can resonate with any of the above, I invite you to book a free, no-obligation call with me to find out how I can help you.
