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The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have In Your Life, Is the Relationship You Have With Yourself!  ~Marie Fraser

As Women, we skillfully and unselfishly play many different roles every single day without a second thought.  Without question, we attend to the wants and needs of the people we love and care for, often to the detriment of our own wants and needs.   We hold down jobs or run our own businesses whilst juggling dozens of other spinning plates.  We are in fact super-heroines!  The sad thing is, we don’t recognise or acknowledge that because what we do becomes automatic and who we are.   That’s when we lose sight of the person we really are, not giving ourselves any time or attention and running on auto-pilot.

Then, out of the blue, we get a sideways swipe, a major life event happens.  Perhaps something dramatic like an affair, a divorce, other relationship issues, or a partner starts to work from home, a disability, a redundancy, or empty-nesting to name a few.   We try and make sense of it, we wonder what happened to that feisty 24-year-old?  Where did she go?  How did she end up here without noticing the loss of the past few decades?

Everything feels alien and then you realise how much time was wasted being somebody else.  We feel scared, stuck, anxious, and lost.  We may even feel resentful and unappreciated as we stare at a crossroad and wonder who the bloody hell we are, what our purpose is, and which direction we should take.  I know, I was that woman!

A little about me.  I’ve worked in high-powered demanding corporate positions, endured a long-term toxic relationship culminating in an extremely acrimonious divorce.  I’ve been mugged and thrown about, twice, had my front door sledge-hammered down at 03:00am whilst I slept.  I survived all that including narcissistic abuse.

I’m the mother of a special needs disabled son and have walked paths that have caused me stress, grief, anxiety, trauma, overwhelm, and which have shattered my confidence and self-esteem.

Today, I combine my many hours of training, my own personal experiences, and client work to inspire and support people to become their own best friends, to trust and accept themselves for who and what they are.  To know and believe that they are enough and are deserving of the relationships and life that they truly desire.  BECAUSE once you trust and accept yourself, there is no limit to what you can achieve.  I truly believe that.

My personal values are courage, fun, freedom, justice, and authenticity, they are the core of who I am and what I bring to my practice.

When you trust and accept yourself, everything else falls into place.

    There are many coaches and I believe it’s important you find the right one for you.   

I offer a 40-minute chat for a redeemable fee of just £10.  During which you can get a feel as to whether we are a good fit and if I’m the right person for you. 

It’s vital to me that you feel safe, secure and confident with the person to whom you are revealing your hopes, dreams, desires, and the real you.  

BOOK THAT CALL NOW. 

 My gift to you:

Download my wonderful Confidence Visualisation here for a

boost of self-confidence and relaxation.

Why Confidence and Self-Esteem are Essential Ingredients for a Happy Life!!

  Your degree of confidence, called self-confidence, is the trust or faith that you have in yourself and your abilities.  Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself.

Realistic feelings of confidence and positive self-esteem affect how you think and act, how you feel about yourself, how you feel about others and how successful you are in life.  Having confidence doesn’t mean that you can do or are good at everything.  Confident people have realistic expectations.  Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and accept themselves. 

As well as being positive, confident people are more likely to take risks in life, because they trust and believe in themselves and their abilities, leading them to become much more successful in all areas of their life.

We are all born confident.  Babies and toddlers are full of confidence in themselves and their abilities.  I mean never in the history of humankind has a baby (if they have the capacity) tried to get up and walk, fallen down, which probably hurts, and then said ‘Nah, this walking lark is hard work, I think I’ll just sit here for the rest of my life’.  Walking is an incredibly complex procedure but they don’t give up, even after the thousandth attempt, they persevere, get back up and carry on.

They also love all the attention showered on them.  They’re happy to run around naked without giving a second thought to their little chubby thighs.   Children are more than happy to proudly show off their little stickmen drawings to all and sundry, without fear of judgement or ridicule.

But then, as we get older and a result of our life’s experiences and how we relate to and handle them, we start to take on the opinions, beliefs and judgements of others.  If you’ve been subjected to traumatic or negative experiences, you are highly likely to be affected by a lack of self-efficacy, confidence and poor self-esteem.    For example:

  • The way we were treated in your family of origin can affect us long after childhood.  If you had parents who consistently belittled you, compared you to others, or told you that you would never amount to anything, you’re extremely likely to carry those messages today.
  • Emotional abuse. This takes place on a psychological level and includes belittling, constant criticism, controlling, blaming and scapegoating.  Narcissistic manipulation for example, is traumatic and extremely damaging to your confidence and self-esteem.
  • Childhood bullying can leave a mark on your confidence, as can humiliating experiences in adulthood. This can make you less willing to speak up for yourself and lead to people-pleasing behaviours.
  • Another form of faulty thinking is perfectionism which hugely contributes to a lack of confidence, overthinking and procrastination.

How does all this happen you might ask, if we are all born confident?  The human brain is made up of hundreds of billions of neural pathways making trillions of neural connections.  Imagine your brain as a road map and when you are a baby it’s a map of cycle tracks.  As you grow, learn and experience life, more cycle tracks are formed and as you practice these new skills, behaviours and beliefs the cycle tracks become deeper and wider and turn into seven-lane motorways, also known as habits, and habits are automatic  

Take learning to drive.  When first learning every movement is jerky and klunky.  You begin to create new neural pathways and with practice the process becomes smoother and you feel more confident.  The act of driving becomes so automatic there will be times when you will reach your destination on some journeys, and have very little or no recollection of the actual journey itself.  Driving has become a habit.

Conversely, if you are or have been subjected to traumatic and/or negative experience(s), like humiliation, belittling, manipulation etc., for any length of time, new neural pathways (cycle tracks) form and if the experience is consistent these neural pathways will become much stronger, forming habits and you will start to believe that, for example, you’re not good enough, not lovable enough, or you’re unworthy, stupid and undeserving.  These negative and untrue beliefs will of course diminish your confidence, crush your self-esteem and affect your happiness and success in life.

Grab a cuppa and book that call to find out if I’m the

right person for you. 

I can’t go back to yesterday, I was a different person then.

~Lewis Carroll

My clients come from all walks of life, they are carrying all sorts of ‘stuff’ around with them, from abandonment, not feeling good enough, relationship break-up,  communication issues, relationship problems, stress, anxiety, depression, emotional abuse to name but a few.

Sometimes they just don’t know why, but life isn’t happening how they want it to.  They’ve reached the point where they’ve tried single-handily to sort their stuff out, but then realise they’re going to get there quicker with professional help.

They want to move away from the pain of feeling stuck to the pleasure of re-igniting their confidence and self-esteem. They want to get to know themselves, to feel alive, fulfilled and to achieve their dreams and goals with a sense of fun and freedom.

BOOK YOUR CALL

Praise for Marie

“Marie is amazing: to the point and kind, she provided me with an incredible amount of support, and it all felt natural. With her guidance and reassurance, she managed to help me see the wood from the trees, she got me to look at myself in a much more positive, constructive, and a much more loving way. My relationship with my boys improved almost overnight. How I relate to men has also gradually improved and it no longer is a source of anxiety, grief, frustration, and anger.”  Valerie UK

“I am quite emotional while writing this as it has totally changed my life, my thought patterns, my relationship with myself and others. 

I wish I had done this work with Marie Fraser years ago, what a transformation, especially my relationship with myself and how I look at life now. You have changed my life forever Marie.  Thank you”.              Phil **  UK

 

“………..I was stressed from work and suffering from a general lack of confidence, self-doubt, and anxiety. 

Your approach was relaxing and I felt safe.  I liked your humanness and warmth and did not feel judged,  but really supported.

I am much calmer, more grounded, less stressed and able to “let go” which has also benefitted my personal relationship with my partner“.

Katja J. UK

“………I was stuck and couldn’t seem to get on with anything.  I had very low motivation which was affecting my life as I was becoming depressed.

What surprised me about working with Marie was that she seemed to “get it” immediately. For that reason, I enjoyed working with her, it was easy and natural.

I have moved forward in my writing and now have an agent who is keen to publish my book”.

Marilyn C.  UK

“………..For over twenty years, after the breakup of my marriage to an abusive man, I suffered from anxiety and overthinking, and forever asking myself ‘why?’.

The sessions I had with Marie gave me the confidence and trust to open up.  I feel lighter and free, as though a great weight has been lifted and my confidence has skyrocketed.

After twenty years of hanging on, I’ve now learned to let go!”.

Hannah T. UK

 

Want to chat?

Book a 40-minute chat to discuss what’s going on for you.  Ask your questions,  gain some clarity, and be certain of how I can help you. Simply complete this form to book a time slot.  

Marie xox

E-mail:  marie@mariefraser.com  ©Marie Fraser 2020 All rights reserved.