“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. We can’t base our own worthiness on others’ approval. Only when we believe deep down, that we are enough can we say ENOUGH!” ~ Brene Brown
We women, skillfully and unselfishly play many different roles every single day without a second thought. Without question, we attend to the wants and needs of the people we love and care for, often to our own detriment. Courageously we hold down jobs or run our own business whilst juggling dozens of spinning plates. The sad thing is, we don’t acknowledge the super-heroine we have become because what we do becomes so automatic and who we are.
The result is, that we lose sight of the person we really are, and by not giving ourselves any time or attention, we run on auto-pilot because our boundaries are way out of whack.
Then, out of the blue, we get a sideways swipe, and a major life event happens. Perhaps something dramatic like an affair, a divorce, other relationship issues, a partner starting to work from home, a disability, a redundancy, retirement, or empty-nesting to name a few. Trying to make sense of it, we wonder what happened to that feisty 24-year-old. Where did she go? How did she end up here without noticing the loss of the past few decades?
Everything feels alien and then you realise how much time was wasted being somebody else. Wondering who the bloody hell you are, feeling scared, stuck, anxious, and lost, perhaps even resentful, angry, and unappreciated. Questioning what your purpose is, and which direction you should take. I know, I was that woman!
As a boundary management specialist, I combine my training in clinical hypnotherapy, life coaching, neuro-linguistic programming, and iMA Communication together with my own personal experiences to support and inspire you to trust and accept yourself for who and what you are, warts and all. To know and believe that you are more than good enough and deserving of the relationships and life you truly desire and deserve.
Take back control of your life by confidently saying NO to things, situations, and people that you’ve reluctantly been saying YES to without feeling selfish, or guilty.
A little about me. For many years I worked in high-powered demanding corporate positions and endured a long-term toxic relationship culminating in an extremely acrimonious divorce.
I’ve experienced my fair share of trauma having twice been mugged and thrown about, my personal space was invaded when my front door was sledge-hammered down at 03:00 am whilst I slept, and on his first birthday, my youngest child was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. That and years of emotional abuse caused me a great deal of stress, anxiety, grief, trauma, and overwhelm, which shattered my self-esteem and confidence.
My personal values are COURAGE, FUN, FREEDOM, JUSTICE and AUTHENTICITY. They are the core of who I am and what I bring to my practice
- Ever say YES when you really want to say NO?
- Inconvenience yourself for other people?
- Spin many plates but avoid asking for help?
- Worry people won’t like you if you don’t go along with them?
- Often feel you have no time for yourself?
- Have an issue with someone’s behaviour, but let it go? Or even make excuses for them?
- Excessively invest in the decisions, feelings, and outcomes of the people you love?
- Feel used, unappreciated, unsupported, and overwhelmed in some or all areas of your life?
- Feel the need to be needed?
Do you tell yourself:
- I can’t be bothered to say anything when something is bothering you. (Because perhaps the other person never listens)
- I don’t want to cause a drama. (like sending food back in a restaurant)
- I don’t want to create conflict because I’m scared I might lose my partner, my job, or my client?
- People might dislike me if I’m not how they want me to be.
- Other people’s wants are more important than mine.
- I don’t have the right to demand more.
- People who set boundaries are unhelpful and selfish.
Many clients come with either no set boundaries, their boundaries are weak and open to abuse, or they’re afraid to set their boundaries. In all cases, they wonder why their relationships are not how they would like them to be, why they have such little confidence and self-esteem, or why they’re feeling overwhelmed, resentful or angry.
Boundaries come in five general categories; Emotional, Material, Mental, Physical, and Sexual, and when any of them are transgressed, we’re in trouble.
Your personal boundaries are unique to you. You have a right to set them and you have the right to expect people to respect them. You may be scared to implement your boundaries for fear of being perceived as unhelpful or selfish, or you may feel guilty that loved ones will think you don’t love them. You may be scared to set boundaries in your work life for fear of losing your job, not advancing in your career, or losing clients.
Your boundaries are a vital ingredient to your happiness and success in life. They let people know who you are, how you want to be treated, and what behaviour is, or is not acceptable to you. BUT, if your boundaries are weak, inconsistent or people are unaware of them, they can hardly be blamed for treating you in a way that causes you to feel used, unappreciated, resentful, obligated, unsupported, or angry.
Think about who you have a relationship with; parents, siblings, other family members, partner, lover, children, friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, employer/employees, or clients. That’s a lot of relationships all of which will demand a different set of, or modified boundaries, to ensure that you maintain your autonomy, authenticity, and self-respect.
Healthy boundaries help us to avoid:
* People pleasing
* Toxic people and toxic relationships
* Feeling emotionally exhausted
* Narcissists and narcissistic behaviour and abuse
* Being misunderstood and taken advantage of
If you can resonate with any of the above, it’s highly likely that your boundaries are out of whack. I invite you to book a free, no-obligation call with me to find out how I can help you.
Are you someone who craves to:
Stop feeling obligated to do things you don’t wish to?
Manage your relationships with confidence and greater ease
Cease being expected of by family, co-workers, your boss, or even your clients?
Be treated with the respect that you desire and deserve?
Be the only one in control of your own life?
Are you someone looking for results like these, to:
Say “NO” without feeling selfish, unhelpful, or guilty?
Value your own thoughts and judgments?
Make confident choices for yourself in all areas of your life?
Stop feeling resentful or bitter from over-giving?
Enhance your communication and your communication skills?
Smash your ineffective inconsistent boundary patterns from your earlier life experiences or those inherited from family and cultural beliefs?
Banish your unhelpful thought patterns or childhood stories that you’re not good enough or worthy enough and that may be sabotaging your ability to create healthy boundaries and happy and successful relationships?
Boost your self-confidence and self-esteem?
Feel listened to and respected in each and every one of your relationships, especially those which are proving tricky right now?
Reach your relationship goals?
Be the Queen of your life in all your authentic magnificence, in control of your own life, happiness, and success?
YES? WELL, IT’S TIME TO PUT YOU IN THE DRIVING SEAT OF YOUR LIFE!
There is no one size fits all fix. You are unique, so is your story and so are your personal boundaries. I will show you how to celebrate your uniqueness, and how to confidently set, communicate and maintain your boundaries to ensure that you and ONLY YOU are the one in CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE.
SOME OF THE WAYS TO WORK WITH MARIE
SEVEN WEEKS FROM TEARS TO TRANSFORMATION
This seven-week programme specifically helps you move from feeling STUCK in an area of your life to feeling FREE and in CONTROL.
It may be a relationship at work or in your personal life where you are feeling overloaded, undervalued, and unappreciated, an experience you’re struggling to release and let go of, or one which is causing you anxiety and holding you back. The programme includes:
One x 1-hour Strategy Session to identify; the area you want to work on, what’s not working, and why, and the negative thoughts and habits which are holding you back.
One x 2-hour Deep Dive Transformational Session, where we’ll establish the cause of your negative thoughts and habits, and where you’ll gain an insight into how and why they’ve been holding you back. This session is like a software upgrade, replacing old unhelpful thoughts and habits, that no longer serve you and keep stuck, for more positive life-affirming thoughts and habits so you can create a much more positive, confident, and balanced outlook.
One x 15-20 minute bespoke made for you audio visualisation. This audio is an additional aid following the deep dive transformational session and which I recommend is listened to regularly.
Five x 1-hour Follow-Up Sessions to support you in your transformation and in which you can address and resolve anything that has come up for you between sessions. Using proven tools and techniques, we will compile a bespoke strategy that works for you to move forward with ease and confidence. Each one-hour session is to be taken weekly over the following five weeks from the deep dive transformational session.
Email and/or Voxer Access to Marie for additional support if needed or to ask questions which may arise between sessions.
Cost: £747 or Three monthly payments of £297
BOUNCE BACK AFTER BREAKUP
This twelve-week programme specifically helps you to move on from a relationship breakup. A breakup is very traumatic, whether you instigated it or not. The loss and grief are second only to the death of a loved one. A breakup affects your self-worth, confidence, and mental and physical health. I give you proven tools and techniques to start to rebuild your self-trust, confidence, and physical and mental well-being and to let go of the negative thoughts that will jeopardise your success, happiness, and future relationships.
The aim of this programme is to help you to accept the relationship is over, let go of what was, boost your confidence and self-worth, build your boundaries and become excited about what is and what is to come, your amazing new future. Briefly, the programme includes:
One x 90-minute Strategy Session to clarify the overall picture of what’s happening for you. To identify and prioritise your main areas of concern. Identify your negative thoughts and beliefs which you’re unable to let go of and the habits which are holding you back and sabotaging your happiness, and success, and preventing you from moving on.
One x 2-hour Deep Dive Transformational Session where we will unearth the root of the negative thoughts, beliefs, and habits, and where you will gain an insight into how and why they’ve been holding you back. This session is like a software upgrade, replacing old unhelpful thought patterns, beliefs, and habits, which no longer serve you, and substituting them with much more positive, life-affirming ones to create a healthy and balanced outlook, and a more confident, happier, and relaxed you.
One x 15-20 Minute bespoke made for you audio recording for you to listen to regularly as an aid following the deep dive transformational session.
Proven tools for your to use during the course of the programme and beyond
Ten weekly 1-hour Follow-Up Support Sessions where I will help and support you to identify and work on your goals dreams and desires for your future and develop a doable action plan for you to implement. We will also address and manage anything that comes up for you between sessions. You are unique, no two people are the same, and this programme is tailored made to you and your needs. Each one-hour session is to be taken weekly over the following nine weeks from the deep dive transformational session.
Six x 15-minute Emergency Zoom Sessions to be taken during the twelve-week programme, by prior appointment, when you need access to me before our next scheduled session.
Email and/or Voxer Access to Marie for additional support if needed or to ask questions which may arise between sessions.
Costs £1,497 or Five monthly payments of £347
HOW I CAN HELP
Sometimes we just need to try and make sense of the thoughts and feelings that are coursing through us.
Perhaps you can’t put your finger on it, but something is causing you to feel agitated when you want to feel peace.
Perhaps you are in a circle of overthinking which is exhausting you and not providing any answers.
Maybe you just need:
Someone to talk to.
Someone who will listen, really listen to what you have to say.
Someone who can understand you.
Someone you can trust and feel safe with.
Someone you can talk to without fear of judgment or reprisal.
If this is you, then do book a no-obligation complimentary call HERE to find out more.
Why no client testimonials?
You may find testimonials from clients on many coaching and therapy websites, but there are reasons why I personally do not publish these.
I abide by the ethical code of the National Council of Integrative Psychotherapists which considers the use of client testimonials unethical.
I take the confidentiality of my clients very seriously, and in order to comply with advertising requirements, testimonials need to be able to be verified, and the process of verification would breach the confidentiality of my clients.
As a coach and therapist, it’s my aim to ensure that our work together is tailored specifically for you. There is no cookie-cutter approach, and therefore your experience of coaching or indeed therapy will not be the same as the next person.
If you would like to find out how your life can be transformed by coaching and/or therapy or to simply find out more about coaching, hypnotherapy, and the way I work, please do not hesitate to contact me here.
Want to Chat?
Want to chat or perhaps you have a question? To gain some clarity, and be certain of how I can help you, simply complete this form and I’ll get back to you.